glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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