Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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