I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
