is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
