i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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