i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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