Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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