im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
