Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
