i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
