Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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