I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
