i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
