My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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