My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
