why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
