When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
