You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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