White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Im part way to drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need water and some morals
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize