I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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