dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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