There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
