i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dick very happy bro
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
