Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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