hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
