She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
