you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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