Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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