We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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