Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
