No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
