Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
