whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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