Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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