I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
