You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize