Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
