He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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