I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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