ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
