Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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