I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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