We're facebook friends in real life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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