My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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