"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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