she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
