erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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