NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
