They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
