There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize