Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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