They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
