i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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