i can't believe i had my finger in that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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