so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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