i just had sex bonerless
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
