My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
