she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
