I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
