we made out on top of his cat.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
