I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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