new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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