nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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