I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
