just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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