Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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