dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
