I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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