He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
