I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
