were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
