His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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