I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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