Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
